Attachment Parenting Part Four: Babywearing

I’m so excited to be up to the third (and my favourite) ‘Baby B’ of Attachment Parenting!  Babywearing has been an important parenting tool in various cultures around the world for centuries. Far more than just a way of carrying your baby from place to place, babywearing involves consciously keeping your baby in a sling as often as possible - wherever you go, whatever you do, baby is right there with you nestled close to your heart.



Because a baby in a sling is literally attached to you for long periods of time, and easily included in your day-to-day activities, babywearing has got to be one of the easiest and most practical ways of building up your bond with your little one.  With baby in a sling, you can cuddle, settle and enjoy your baby handsfree while getting things done, caring for older children, or even just enjoying a cup of tea! And a sling is so much more convenient and flexible than a pram or baby capsule for getting out and about at the shops, on public transport, or heading outdoors when it’s cold or wet.  Depending on your sling, you can even breastfeed your baby while walking down the street.  Yep, I LOVE babywearing!



But it’s not just great for parents; babies love being worn, too. Research shows that ‘sling babies’ receive more physical touch, are more settled, and have mothers who are more responsive to their cues than their non-sling counterparts.  A baby or toddler who fills their ‘emotional tank’ with lots of physical comfort during the day is also likely to find it easier to separate from their parents for nap-time or night-time settling.  Babywearing can be particularly beneficial for babies who suffer from colic or reflux (as it enables them to stay upright and in-arms), as well as for mothers struggling with a low milk supply (the proximity of baby can stimulate milk production hormones).   Of course, not all babies enjoy life in a sling, but so many do to that it’s definitely worth giving it a go!



Aside from a baby, the most important equipment for babywearing is the right carrier or sling.  Many new parents love the idea of wearing their baby, only to find that an aching neck or uncomfortable baby puts an end to their good intentions.  Because babies only get bigger and heavier, as well as the fact that a woman’s body continues to produce relaxin (a hormone which loosens joints and muscles and thus enables injury to occur more easily) for up to 2 years postpartum, the right carrier, and the right position for baby, are crucial for successful babywearing.



While having one is better than nothing, the most common clip-together chest carriers (rhymes with Schmaby Schmeeorn…) and rigid backpack carriers are best avoided.  These carriers place the majority of baby’s weight on the parent’s neck and shoulders, which is at best uncomfortable as straps dig in and at worst can cause chronic pain.  Additionally, the baby’s position in these carriers rests their weight on their tailbone rather than their bottom, which is believed to be potentially damaging to little spines .



Babywearing should be comfortable, easy, and fun for everyone.  Experienced babywearers will all have their favourites but most families find that investing in a couple of different slings and carriers is key to a long and happy babywearing journey.  Ask your babywearing friends or check out a couple of the sites below for ideas!



Resources

William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N.  The Attachment Parenting Book, Chapter 6: Babywearing



Babes In Arms



Babywearing International

Attachment Parenting, Part Two: Birth Bonding

Source: mariolacamacho.com via Eileen on Pinterest

As we learned in Part One, Attachment Parenting is a caregiving philosophy based on attempting to build a strong and intuitive relationship between parents and their child(ren).  The way that attachment begins is through a physical, chemical and emotional process referred to as ‘bonding’, which describes the way in which parent/s and child get to know each other.

 

The bonding process begins well before birth - for some parents, even before conception!  During pregnancy, most parents will find themselves beginning to bond with their baby, becoming attached to their child along with their hopes and dreams for their family.  For mothers, the hormonal and physical changes going on in her body give a biological boost to the beginning of this bonding process, a boost which is supercharged during labour, birth and the hours immediately following delivery.

 

According to a number of studies, the hormones and emotions present in the hours immediately following birth make them particularly prime time for bonding to occur between parents and their newborn.  Most parents (or babies!) don’t really need to be told what to do during this time, but if you are keen there are lots of ways to make the most of this unique point in your relationship.

 

First, inform your care providers that you would like some time alone with your baby.  Ask if it’s ok for routine procedures such as weighing, cleaning, and any tests or injections to be delayed for a couple of hours (don’t forget Vitamin K can be administered orally).  Your baby will find it easier to keep her eyes open in dim lighting so see if it’s possible to turn the lights down or bring in a lamp.  Then just spend some time exploring and enjoying each other!

 

Things like holding your baby skin-to-skin, stroking and touching their body, making and holding eye contact with your baby, talking or singing to your baby, are all really enjoyable and beneficial ways to begin getting to know each other.  Breastfeeding during the first hour after birth is recommended for lots of reasons, including that it’s really great for the bonding process.  And while most hospitals now have a ‘rooming-in’ policy, you can take it one step further by bringing your baby out of the bassinet and into your arms as much as possible J

 

Now in an ideal world, every baby would be easily born into a quiet place where time can immediately be spent doing nothing other than resting and enjoying each other. But we all know that the ‘dream birth’ is rarely achieved!  Instrumental delivery, c-sections, stitches, medical complications, or even just sheer exhaustion may mean that other concerns need to take precedence before parents and baby are ready or able to begin getting to know each other.

 

It’s important to remember, then, that while the first few hours after birth are a great boost to the bonding process, they're by no means all-or-nothing! There are plenty of creative ways to get to know your baby in difficult or unexpected circumstances, and the early days and weeks are still an important and special time.  The idea of birth bonding is simply to be aware of the uniqueness of the first few hours after birth, and if possible, to be intentional about maximising the potential of this time to begin bonding with your baby.  But no matter how it begins, you’ve got the rest of your lives together to enjoy strengthening that bond!

 

Love, Nic

 

Resources

William Sears, M.D., and Martha Sears, R.N.  The Attachment Parenting Book. Chapter 4: Bonding at Birth and Beyond

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T101100.asp (link title: Ask Dr Sears: Bonding with your Newborn)

Guest Post - Attatchment Parenting

 Heyfolks! My lovely friend Nic has offered to do some guest posts on Attatchment Parenting. Nic has just moved to Adelaide from Sydney with her husband and sweet little boy. They are having another little treasure later in the year.I think Nic is a great mama. She really thinks carefully about how to parent and always has fantastic and considered advice. She has been such a blessing to this rookie mum.

I'm really looking forward to reading these posts and I hope you enjoy them too.

Attachment Parenting. Part One: What is Attachment Parenting?

Attachment parenting (AP) is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory.  In AP, parents seek to develop a strong emotional bond with their children during infancy and childhood, in order to foster their child’s development and wellbeing.

Attachment parenting is not a strict set of rules or a one-size-fits-all approach; rather, AP philosophy recognises that each child, parent, and parent-child relationship are unique, and encourages parents to become confident experts in their own child.  Drs William and Martha Sears, leaders in AP theory, write that “above all, attachment parenting means opening your mind and heart to the individual needs of your baby and letting your knowledge of your child be your guide to making on-the-spot-decisions about what works best for the both of you.” (William Sears, M.D. and Martha Sears, R.N.; Attachment Parenting, p2)

In AP philosophy, building a strong emotional connection between parent and child from the early years is key in a family’s approach to sleep, feeding, care, and discipline.  Parents who learn to be sensitive to their child’s individual needs and signals, so the theory goes, are better able to read their child’s signals and meet their specific needs.  Children who feel thus secure in the knowledge that their parent is available and responsive can be more settled and confident as they grow and learn about the world.

While there are few empirical studies on the efficacy of attachment parenting, there is a significant weight of anecdotal evidence from parents and children who have found the AP approach to be both enjoyable and beneficial for their families.  Not least of these are the Sears themselves who, in addition to being pediatrics experts, have raised 8 children of their own (including one with Downs’ Syndrome) according to their philosophies! 

Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of the AP approach is its flexibility and sensitivity, equipping families with the tools and confidence to make appropriate choices for their own children, and enabling them to work out how best to love and care for their children, whatever situation or season of life they are in.   It is true that AP can be very demanding on parents, especially during the first year of infancy.  However, it is also true that it can be a deeply rewarding approach to childrearing.  We have found this to be very much the case in our own experience raising our now 25-month-old son along AP principles!

During the rest of this series, we will look in turn at each of the seven ‘attachment tools’ which form the basis of Dr Sears’ theory of AP in infancy.  These tools, or “Baby B’s”, are: Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bed Sharing, Belief in Baby’s Cries, Balance and Boundaries, and Beware of Baby Trainers.  I’ll also share with you from my personal experiences and do my best to answer any questions which pop up along the way. 

Until next time, enjoy that baby!

Love, Nic