Lazy days and wide awake nights

So remember those lovely long naps I was talking about?
The ones where my little girl and I have a nice lung cuddle?
Well.
It turns out the little one is rather fond of the old mama cuddle and not just in the day time.
Lu has taken to staring wide eyed into my eyes for HOURS at bedtime. Not crying, not playing. Not sleeping.
She doesn't go to sleep and eventually I hand her over to Myl and the screaming begins.
It's nice to be the favourite but also bedtime is a good idea too.

Those eyes. They hit me right in the mama bone.

i get knocked down...

Lucy got her first real boo boo today.
We were at the park brunching with friends.
Lucy went with Myl to the playground and as he was holding the gate open for a lady with a pram, Lucy decided to launch herself down the stairs.
Carefully navigated steps are usually not a problem for her but steps leading to swings and slides and see-saws?
Well, that's another matter.
She launched herself down and whacked herself in the noggin.
And now, there is a bright red bump in the middle of her forehead.

It's painfully obvious. I can't even hide it with her hair.
I was waiting for this day to come.
You know when you see kids with wounds on their faces and you can't help but think,
"where were those parents?"
You think,
"I would never let my child get a sore like that!"
Maybe your kids have had so many accidents that you find yourself comparing wounds.
"That's nothing! Little Kimba once severed his head in half and it was all blue and pulsating..."
Well.
I thought that Lucy would never get hurt. Never get a scratch. Never a bump or a bruise or a graze.
That's right.
I thought wrong.

It's really not so bad.
She bounced back up and see-sawed like the best of them.
She lived to fight another day.
But I guess it's one more lesson in life that makes me trust that some one else more equipped for the job is looking after my little girl and that boo boos are just a part of growing up.

*I took a photo of the boo boo but could only do so when Lu was sleeping and it looked a bit creepy. So you will just have to imagine a 10c piece sized, red eggy (but not too bad Mum) sore on her head.

Clear as...

Lucy is just starting to learn words.
She's got all the important ones down like
mama
dada
She can say ball, dog, flower and make animal noises like the best of them but other than providing great party entertainment, these words are not really all that helpful.

I can see the frustration welling up in her little face every time she doesn't have the right word.
She wants to say
"I need help"
"I want more"
"I'm confused, sad, lonely, tired, scared, overwhelmed."
"pumpkin again?"

But she doesn't have the words yet.
I give her the words.
"help"
"more please"
"up"
"cuddle"
"no, ta"
But sometimes the frustration takes over.

I get it. Sometimes it would be easier to fling yourself on the floor and have a good ole fashioned tanty.
But she'll learn.

She can already do a sing songy version of more please.
"mah paaaaah"
Which comes out every time we walk past a glass cabinet full of caked at a cafe.

More words will come and one day I will have a conversation with my little girl. But for now I have sweet baby jibber and it is so very sweet.

i wanna hold your hand

she's gone past the need for a back pat or a sweet lullaby.
last night the little one devised a new strategy for keeping mama close at bedtime.

once she was lying safe and sound in her cot I began my usual back tap
but then
a little nubbin hand grabbed those tapping fingers and lay them down next to her head.
She placed her sweet little hand on top of mine and began to squeeze my back hand skin.
trapped.
what. a. genius.

It seems that the little one has realised how easy it is for her mama to slip away quietly after a minute or so of back tapping and how flaming hard it is to slip out from under that vice like squeeze of the tiny fingernails.

I wait for her breathing to slow.
I wait for her squeezing to cease.

I'm sure it's been hours. I start dreaming of the things I could be doing.
Surely there is some trashy show to watch.
I could be having a bubble bath.
The lounge is calling. It wants me to face plant into its comfy depths.

But no. My hand is being experimented on for flexibility and elasticity.
I decide to slip it away and see what happens and quick as a flash an almighty howl erupts from within the cot.
Back it goes. Reluctantly.

I crawl into the fetal position on the floor my arm outstretched through the bars.
I decide to think about amusing topics. Matchmaking my friends, planing date nights.
The hours pass. It must be 3am by now.

I decide to risk it. I pull my hand to freedom and hear that yowl. Less energetic this time.
I shhhhhhh. and shhhh. and shhhhhhhhhh.
The yowl turns to a whimper.
I shhhhh.
It stops.
I creep and crawl away.
Goodnight my little girl. I love you.

I check the clock. It's 8pm.
Not great.
Not bad.

Now where is that lounge?



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