Whoopxcited

What did you buy from kogan?
I asked while looking at emails.

Pause

Oh.
(it's my birthday soon)
I asked for something that goes clickety click.

Wheeeeee! I'm excited.

2 - tenandahalf

Well here goes! The weekly updates are starting again.

Feeling - happy but tired. All. The. Time. I'm so thankful for daytime naps. I've been lucky again to have a pretty well feeling first trimester apart from a bout of stomach bug last weekend. Feeling excited about smalls but knowing its a long way till march.

Eating - not much. Last weeks bug has made my appetite much smaller. But yes mum I am eating. Just not loads and not craving any unhealthy things which is good.

Sleeping - well between late night worry sessions, mid night bizarre dreams and early morning visits from a squishy girl in a onesie.

Thinking about - baby names. We are sold on girls but so lost when it comes to boys.

He hears. He answers.

There have been so many beautiful things about the news of our little Smalls.
Things that make me weep and laugh.
Things that make me stand in awe of how lucky I am.

But I know it isn't luck. It's not by chance that I am where I am.

You might know our story.
We were told it was unlikely we would have children but because we were young there was more hope.
I cried for the children I thought I may never hold.
I cried out to God, not to give me what I wanted but to make me content with what I got.
I asked him first to make me content and then I told him the desires of my heart.

And that good God, He listened.
He listened.
And listened.

When I felt as though I was speaking into a void, He listened.
Biding his time. Waiting for the right moment.

And then, He answered. At youth camp. Two pink lines. A ray of hope. A little one to call my own.
She grew, and grew, and grew and I felt the tug once more.
Could I be lucky again?
But I know it isn't luck. It's not by chance that I am where I am.

I cried and I wept and I pleaded.
I forgot.
I forgot about the last time when He listened and listened.
I forgot about the last time when he heard and answered. When he stilled my aching heart and gave me hope.
I forgot that He knows good and He knows me better than I do.

But.
Once again. He answered. At youth camp. Two pink lines. A ray of hope. A small one to call my own.

How I sat in awe of His goodness. His goodness to silly old me who forgot.
Silly old me who pleaded like a child who had never seen goodness before.
But he hears. He listens. He delights in answering us.

A prayer for that night.
You hear your little children.
Thankyou God, for answering our prayers.

here's looking at you kid

Here are the first pictures of our Smalls.

Doesn't that little cloudy mass of sweet baby just warm the cockles of your heart?
Just me?

We went along to our first ultrasound thinking we were almost eight weeks along and found out we were only six weeks and four days. Which puts Smalls due date the day before Lucys.
I'm thinking March is going to become the party month!

All is well so far. I was pretty glad there is only one small fry in there. I kept having images of twins. Doable but a bit full on.

One little dancing panda baby.