Norah's Birth Story - Part Three

Part Three

We kept going. The heart monitor was not doing its job while I moved around. I was getting pretty annoyed about having to wear it and didn’t mind much when it dropped out but the doctors were getting antsy. Each time I had a contraction I would move and the monitor would cut out making it look like a dip in the heart rate. They started talking about putting a clip on our little ones head. That did it for me. I remembered the same thing happening with Lucy and it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. The stubborn angry lady came out of me. I declared I would not be having the clip and made up my mind to do each contraction standing. (The best position for the monitor.) I longed to lean over the bed or the balance ball or just crawl into a corner but I just couldn’t bring myself to have that clip. I laboured on growing more and more tired but finding the energy to work through each contraction.

Myles was amazing. We talked before this day about what I would like him to do and as I went through it all he was so good at meeting my requests. We spent many contractions staring into each other’s eyes, breathing together. It was all very Ina May. I’m so glad we got to labour together. I think it really strengthened our marriage no matter how hard the following hours would be.

The contractions were coming quickly. I was breathing and moving through them but had barely any time to rest in between. I was getting excited. Having not been through labour before I thought that this must be what it is like. I was sure I’d be at least eight centimetres dilated. But at 2am another check told me I was only three, maybe four centimetres and still barely effaced.

I was exhausted. Physically and mentally. For almost two whole days I had been gearing up to have this baby. I’d been totally absorbed in getting labour going and after nine hours on the drip I was chugging along very slowly. I’d been standing up for the last five or so hours. I’d been pleading with my body to let my baby out and it just wasn’t working.

The doctors came in a number of times telling me what I already knew. They wanted to take me to surgery. Our girl wasn’t distressed but she also wasn’t budging. My contractions, though they were coming close together were not particularly strong. I could have slapped the doctor when he told me I didn’t look like the contractions were uncomfortable. “This is what nine months of training for a calm birth get you!” I should have yelled. But he meant well.

I’d been texting my mum through the whole process. She was at home with Lucy. She gave me so much encouragement. It felt like having her in the room not just receiving her texts but remembering all the words she has spoken to me in my pregnancy and in my life. What a blessing to grow up with a midwife mother. She taught me about birth, about how to prepare yourself and deal with the marathon of labour. She taught me about natural childbirth and how to stick up for your rights as a pregnant woman. Though she was looking after my firstborn she was right there with me in the wisdom she embedded in my heart and soul. She is the reason I knew I had to fight for my natural birth. I knew I would have to exhaust every option so that I would feel empowered about my birth experience the next day.

I collapsed into Myles arms. So much of me wanted to give up. But I knew that I had to give my all. I had to know that I did all I could do. So I asked for more time.

They gave me two hours. I could go for a caesarean now or in two hours. It didn’t seem like very long and in fact it wasn’t. During the two hours they kept checking and checking. Nothing improved. The decision was taken out of my hands. I would go in for surgery again.

It took longer this time than with Lucy. Because our girl wasn’t distressed they had more time.  I signed the form and the midwives prepped me for surgery. They took out my drip and I sat down. It felt so good to sit down. The contractions all but stopped. Another blow. It was all the drugs. My body hadn’t taken over. Myles and I chatted. Despite the disappointment in my body it was pretty exciting. We would see our little girl soon. By hook or by crook she’d be out soon. I couldn’t wait to meet her.

Off to surgery I went on my stretcher bed with my chin held high. It was all very casual and friendly. The surgeons made jokes as they wheeled me in. Nice ones. It was the most familiar part of my labour so far. Once again I surrendered my body to the hospital machine. I sat up on the bed while they put in the spinal block. The anaesthetist took a good few goes to get it in. I began to feel very nervous. I tried not to think about the knife or the needle for that matter. My body went numb, they called Myles in and began.

In high tradition Myles and I sung our little girl into the world. Lord of Lords, Let the Weak Say I Am Strong, Jesus Paid it All. My voice was weak but my heart was willing. Myles will tell you I seemed quite out of it. I think after all that time I was just happy for the lie down.

After what seemed like not long at all I heard that blessed sound. Our girls first cry. She was gurgling and spluttering a bit. A bit of something had gone down the wrong pipe. But she was out! My heart filled up and ran over. There is no sweeter noise. Myles went over to cut the cord and then brought our girl straight over to me. We had told the doctors that I wanted skin to skin straight away. They had laid all the dressings so that we could. 

My Norah girl was put on my tummy and there we lay looking at one another. She was a dark purply pink colour and had a thick mop of black hair. She was covered in gloop but she was mine. My sweet girl. It was just after four in the morning. The twenty first of March.

She nosed around for a while and then leapt her way over to her first feed. They took us up into recovery and then to my room. I had lost a fair bit of blood in the operation but didn’t need a transfusion. We settled in to our shared room and Myles fell asleep on the floor. The sun came up on Norah’s birthday and I held her in my arms so glad that she had come safely into the world.

Norah's Birth Story - Part Two

Part Two

It had been a long day. It was thirty-one hours since my water had broken and I still wasn’t in labour.  Our appointment at 1:30 was to listen to Norah’s heartbeat to make sure she wasn’t in distress. We headed to the place where they do ultrasounds and I was hooked up to the heart rate monitor. She was beating a little fast so we started singing again and I turned on my side. That seemed to calm things down a bit.

Despite all the drama it was so great to spend all this time with Myles. We spent a lot of time just chatting. In between all the bits and pieces there was a lot of waiting. Waiting for doctors, waiting for heart rates, walking to and from the hospital. We chatted about all kinds of things. Baby things and life things. It was nice to take my mind off worrying. We joked around and kept things light. It was nice.

They gave us the ok and we headed down to the birth centre. Back into the room we went and the midwife came to check. My contractions had all but stopped and any that came weren’t strong. It wasn’t a good sign.

So we had the chat. The midwife gave me my options. Because of all the other factors they were a bit worried. I could go straight to surgery, have an induction or keep waiting. I wanted to give it my best shot. I decided to induce. It seemed that if our girl hadn’t come after more than 24 hours it was unlikely she would come without a bit of extra help. This meant once more leaving the birth centre. A familiar path to tread.

Off we went to settle in. We dimmed the lights and put on our music. We made our little room our home. We met our midwife who was lovely and the same age as me. She told me I would need to be monitored the whole time and that the wireless monitor was not available. Oh. I asked if I could have it as soon as it was figuring that with a non existent first time labour and a twelve hour induction timeline I would be there for a while. Our girl was doing well. Heartbeat normal but happy to stay inside.

A nurse came in to put my canula in for the drip. She tried my left arm and missed. Of all the needles you can get, this is not a particularly nice one and when it goes in wrong it hurts like billy-o. I practiced my calm birth. Easy breathing, stay calm. The nurse went to get someone else. A doctor came in to have a go. Bingo, in it went but when the midwife flushed it with water my arm started to swell up. She’d got it in my tissue. Weirdest feeling ever. Easy breathing, stay calm. I was starting to get nervous and we hadn’t even begun. Another spot on my arm, another bruise, another doctor and it went in. They gave me some fluids and said they’d be back with the induction drip.

Myles and I chatted and hung about. We listened to Norah Jones and sung along. They started the drip at about 5pm. Here we go. The contractions came slowly. We could watch them on the machine. The numbers went high when the contraction came and back down as it faded away. Up to 20 and down. Up to 30 and down. They were really gentle. The midwife mentioned something about a gown and I ignored her. I had this I thought. I was standing and swaying and dancing and breathing to practice for when they became more intense. After about an hour I decided to lie down and rest. I was in for a long night.

When I was lying down the heart monitor started to loose the plot. The monitor is a couple of big plastic disks they place on your tummy. Every time I moved they seemed to loose position causing the machine to stop reading our little ones heartbeat. Most of me did not care a toss. I resented the continuous monitoring but the doctors needed to make sure she was ok because a dip in heart rate is the first sign of uterine rupture. The contractions started to get stronger and the monitor was flipping out. My nap was short lived. I couldn’t lie down anymore. I had to get moving.

The hours passed by so quickly. All of a sudden it was 9pm. I had been working hard, breathing and moving. Our midwife has said she would come in at nine and see how far I had progressed. It was the moment I had been waiting for.

I was to be disappointed. I was only two centimetres dilated and barely effaced. On top of all that, the midwife thought that part of the waters hadn’t broken and said she would need to manually break them. It felt like a kick in the guts. I’d been working hard and my body was just not doing it for me. I felt exhausted and imagined the hours that stretched ahead of me. If four hours meant two centimetres then I supposed it would take me another day to get to ten. My confidence began to waver but I’d read the books where marvellous speedy dilations happened. I kept telling myself that my body knew what to do, just go with it, trust the process.

I promise the next one will be up very soon.

birth story (part three)

I really didn't have a lot of time to think about or process what was happening to me. I was about to go into surgery with ten minutes warning. I had never been in surgery before. I had never really been in the hospital before except for a few trips to emergency and of course my ante-natal care. I had never broken a bone, never been on a drip, I hardly even take panadol! I was about to have myself cut open while I was awake and have my little girl wrenched from the womb.

Before they wheeled me away I asked the midwives a few questions.
I wanted to know if it would hurt. They told me no, it would feel like someone doing the washing up in my tummy. This didn't really set me at ease.
I wanted to know if I could hold and breastfeed our girl once she was out. Kelly our midwife told me I would. This set me at ease. This was probably my biggest worry about a c-section. I had heard of little babies being taken away, washed and clothed and that all important first hour of attachment being missed out on.
I wanted to know how long it would take. They said about twenty minutes. That really rocked my socks. In twenty minutes my little one would be here.

I was wheeled into the operating theatre and Myles was told to wait outside. They needed to figure out if I was going to be put under general anesthetic or epidural. If the little ones heart rate was too low they would put me under and take her out quickly but if it wasn't too low they could take their time with an epidural. I was hoping they wouldn't need to put me under. I didn't like the thought of going to sleep and waking up with a baby. I didn't want to miss it all. All was well and they could do an epidural. I had spent my whole pregnancy saying I was not going to have one and it was very strange to now have no choice in the matter or even to prefer an epidural.

The theatre was a busy place. There were probably about ten people in there all with a different job to do. They were all rushing round getting ready. Someone was attaching cords to me and putting my finger in a heart rate monitor. Someone was preparing the place they would put our little girl when she came out. Doctors were prepping their instruments. The anesthetist was getting her stuff ready. It was all really surreal. I had well and truly surrendered my body and my birth to medicine. I had done all I could in the nine months of growing this little girl and could do no more. These people would help me the rest of the way. I was completely out of control. I should have been freaking out but back came that feeling of peace. I really think that God was carrying and sustaining me through the whole process. My whole world had been turned upside down but I just sat there and let them go ahead. All I could think about was that the little one would be here soon and she would be ok. That was all that mattered.

Myles was still not allowed in. I think they thought it would be too much for him. I really really wanted him there to hold my hand. I looked around for a familiar face in the crowd. I spotted Kelly, the one person in the room I had seen before. The anesthetist was telling me about the epidural. She asked me to sit up on the side of the bed. I remember when they told us about how they do epidurals in birth classes and I was completely put off but in actual fact it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Kelly came over and started talking me through it. They put in a local anesthetic to numb the area and then in went the needle. Kelly held my hand and I squeezed it tight. It didn't really hurt but it's not a nice idea to think of a needle going into your spine to numb your body. She was a real life saver.

When the epidural was in they laid me down. Someone said they needed to put a catheter in (oh boy). I asked for Myles. The anesthetist told me that it was a "lady" thing and that he wouldn't like to see the catheter go in. I thought differently. He is my husband I was sure he wouldn't mind but I wasn't in an arguing mood. My body had started to numb. The anesthetist put some ice on my face and then at different spots on my body to see if the epidural was working. Each time she put the ice higher and higher and each time I could feel it less and less. The feeling wasn't gone it was just numb. I couldn't feel my toes at all but higher up it was just very tingly. When it was numb right up to my chest they were all set to begin. I had begun to shiver. I don't know if it was nerves or the cool room or the medicine pumping through my body but I was shivering badly. I felt drowsy and pretty out of it. They put up a screen in front of my face so I couldn't see what was going on and I guess so they couldn't see me either. I was glad for that.

Suddenly Myles was at my side. He was a sight for sore eyes. I was so happy he was there. I held his hand tightly. When I talked to him my voice shivered. I don't know what he was thinking at the time but he just smiled at me and made me feel calm. Just before I was wheeled away I told Myles that I thought we would need to sing our way through the surgery. We had talked about singing in labour before. It seemed like a nice way to vocalise pain and get through the contractions. There were no longer any contractions but it seemed a nice way to forget that people were chopping me up.

So we sang. As I lay there alone the song "Indescribable" had come into my mind so we sang that. Then we sung "Jesus Paid it All," our little girls favourite song. It did indeed feel like washing up in my tummy. I could feel pressure and movement but no pain. I didn't want to think about what was going on behind the screen. I just wanted to sing, stare into the eyes of my husband and wait for that beautiful little cry.

We finished those songs and she still wasn't out so on we went to "Mighty to Save." It wasn't the worlds best rendition. My voice was shaky and soft. But it was heartfelt.

Saviour, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave.


Myles eyes started to water. I could see he looked so sad. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he just didn't like that I was being all cut up. I held his hand tightly and told him it was ok. That God was looking after us and our little girl would be there soon. Fancy that, a woman lying on a table with her guts hanging out consoling someone else. But that's how life rolls sometimes I guess.

We sang another chorus and remembered how good our God is. Singing those words we heard the doctor tell us our little girl was out. It was 4:18 am. We waited to hear her cry. It didn't come for what seemed like an eternity and then there it was. For the first time the voice of this precious little girl I had carried for so long. The voice I had waited so long to hear. The voice I had imagined hearing. I was filled with love. I couldn't see her, I could only hear her voice but Oh how I loved her. My little girl.

They asked Myles if he wanted to cut her cord and so he went and did that. I asked to hold her and feed her. They said she would be there soon. Another eternity passed and there was my little girl all bundled up in a blanket. She had the biggest, bluest eyes. She had such a sweet little face. She was so small and so new and so beautiful. She was just looking at us. She wasn't crying just looking. I only had one free arm. The other was having drugs pumped into it. I reached out to hold her. I lent in to kiss her and felt her soft skin on my lips. I looked at Myl and looked at her. We held her and talked to her and kissed each other. I wanted to so much to hold her properly but I was still all cut open. They needed to sew me up. She was so hungry. Her little mouth kept opening and she was making sucking noises. It was very sweet and I kept asking when I wold be able to feed her. They told me  would after we left theatre. I kept thinking about that crucial first hour but there was not a lot I could do.

When they had finished putting me back together I was put onto a different trolley. My little girl was taken away with Myl. I was still all numb and I will never forget the sensation of being moved from the operating table to the trolley. My body felt like a plank of wood. I was rocked over and lifted up and couldn't feel a thing. I was wheeled into the recovery room with Myl and our little girl following closely behind.

Someone was telling me about pain relief, someone was checking out my scar, someone took my blood pressure and temperature but I wasn't really paying attention. My body was still property of the medical profession but my mind was thinking about my new little girl. I wanted to see her again. Finally after they had done their stuff she came over for her very first feed. She was so hungry! I don't really remember how well it went. I think we did ok. It was just so nice to hold my little girl on my chest, cuddle her and smell her sweet baby smell.

They wheeled us up to the post-natal ward. I got to keep our little one on my chest for the ride. It was so nice. They wheeled us along the corridors and I was amazed to be wheeled into a single room. In classes they told us how unlikely we were to get one, that they usually saved them for people with problematic births. What I didn't realise at the time was that hey, emergency c-section = problematic birth. We got into the room and got settled in. Word had been sent to my poor mum waiting still in the labour ward and she would be arriving soon. I cuddled my little bundle and the midwives came in to do obs. Mum arrived and met her granddaughter. She was pretty pleased even though she missed out on the actual birth. She gave dad a call to tell him the news. He said he would be down after work. It was about 6am. We had been awake all night. Mum took our car home and went for a sleep. We had a sleep in our room. There was a pull out bed for Myl. I held my little girl on my chest while I slept. It was the nicest feeling.

Our little girl had arrived. She was safe and well. A little hungry but otherwise just dandy. The whole thing was less of a birth and more of a medical procedure but in the end we had our little girl out with us in the world and that is all that matters. The experience wasn't about what Myles or I wanted but about what needed to happen to bring Lucy to us. It was an incredibly humbling moment when I realised that. Our birth story went pretty much completely the opposite of how we "wanted" it to go except on one point. Our little girl is here and after that crazy birth adventure the real adventure began!

birth story (part two)

We arrived at the birth centre sometime around 11. It was one of the few times there has ever been a park. We went in to the front desk and the girl asked why we were there. I must admit I was stumped.
"Uhh, I'm having a baby." I said. She didn't look amused and asked for my yellow card. I guess night shift on the labour ward desk might not be as fun as it sounds.

She let us in and as we went into the birth centre out came a long lost friend of my mums. She had gone to church with us years ago and mum hadn't seen her since she had left. She is a midwife at the birth centre and mum knew this and told me to look out for her. I hadn't bumped into her until that night. She and Mum had a happy little meeting and she couldn't believe it was me going in to have a baby. The last time she saw me I would have been 4 or 5. We had almost forgotten that I was about to have a baby but eventually went inside.

The birth centre looks a whole lot different at night when you are going in to have a baby. I had been in there so many times in the last few weeks and imagined what it would be like going in there in labour. The midwife came to see us and indeed it was merconium in the waters. She broke some bad news. We couldn't have our little one in the birth centre. It was too high risk. Oh.
They would need to give me a drip to start contractions as they weren't strong enough. Oh. I would need to go to the labour ward and be on a heart monitor. Oh.

My perfect birth dream was falling down around my ears and how did I feel? I felt pretty calm. I think it was about then that my body started to take over. I felt this amazing calm sensation like everything would be ok. I am so thankful for this because if ever there was a time to panic in life it would have been this night.

Mum was asking the midwife about the option of waiting it out to see if the contractions started naturally. The midwife didn't seem to think the doctors in the labour ward would be too happy about that but they were pretty busy over there so there was a possibility I would be waiting a while anyway.

I was waiting a while. The midwife told us to get comfy. She set us up in one of the empty labour rooms. In all the excitement my contractions had stopped so I was pacing round the room trying to get them started again. I sat on the birthing ball and rocked, Myl gave me a massage. I moved around and did some of the exercises I had been practicing during pregnancy. We had brought our computer to listen to music on and still had old Lord of the Rings in the player so back we went to middle earth.

The midwife came in to check up on us every now and then. She got out her Doppler and listened to the heartbeat, checked my temperature and blood pressure. It was a little high so she was getting me to drink water. I had already drunk about 2 litres of water that day and probably drank another two in the labour room.

About an hour later a doctor came in from the labour ward to give me a cannula. I'm not sure what happened to the idea of waiting and seeing if labour would begin by itself. I was having a few contractions but they weren't very strong. I think they wanted the cannula in just in case. Boy oh boy was I nervous when she told me that she needed to put local anesthetic in my hand before putting in the needle. I thought it must hurt pretty bad if they need to do that. Myl came over and held my hand. I braced for impact and it didn't really come.
"It's over." said the doctor.
I told her I barely felt a thing. She seemed pleased. It wasn't all that nice having a big tube in my hand. It was trickier to do some of my exercises. I felt less like a mother and more like a patient. But I tried not to worry.

As the orcs closed in on Minas Tirith and Gandalf spoke rather beautifully about death to young Pippin the midwife came in for the last time. They had a room for me in the labour ward. It was time to go. I stood up and gathered my things. We walked out of the birth centre and crossed the corridor into the scary world of the labour ward. It was about 2am. The time had flown. I now know how people survive through twelve or more hour labours. The time just goes by without you realising it. An hour feels like a few moments.

We walked down the corridors and into a new room. The first thing I noticed was the cold. It was quite a few degrees colder than in the birth centre. The lights were all on. It was so bright. It felt sterile and unfriendly. But it was where we needed to be. Myl went to move the car. We were still in the 20 minute parking spot. I don't know if we got a ticket. Maybe they are kinder at night. Mum set up the music and I stood around looking lost. We were introduced to our new midwife Kelly. She apologised that it wasn't the birth centre and said she would try and make it as nice as she could.

I was set up on the bed with a heart monitor. They tried to use one that would allow me to move around as much as I could but it wasn't working. This also meant I couldn't use the shower or bath. My heart sank. I was hoping for a water birth and it had just gone out the window. I tried not to worry and felt that calm wash over me. I felt a little nervous about how I was going to cope with labour without the water. I tried not to think about it. One moment at a time.

Kelly said she needed to do an internal exam. She said I was 3 or 4cm dilated. I felt quite proud of myself. She also said she could feel something a bit strange so she would need the midwife in charge to have a bit of a check. This was the second most painful moment of the whole night. The most painful being when she did it again a bit later. The second midwife said I was only 1cm dilated and hardly effaced at all and that is why Kelly thought I was 3-4cm. That is also why it hurt so much. I felt deflated. 1cm? Surely not!

I had a little cry when everyone left the room. 1cm dilated, in the labour ward, hooked up to machines on the bed, no shower, no bath, most likely going to be artificially induced. What went wrong? Where was my perfect natural birth?

The doctor came in to discuss going on the labour inducing drip. I asked if we could wait a bit longer to see if labour would start naturally. He said that we had been waiting a few hours already and nothing had happened. (1cm oh boy) I looked at Myl. He gave me a comforting look and held my hand. So it was time for the drip. I was told it would make the labour quicker and more intense. This scared me a bit but Mum and Myl convinced me it would be ok. Kelly told me I could get up out of bed and move around a bit (at the side of the bed) and that we could still use the ball or move the bed to an upright position. It seemed like a weak compromise. I just wanted to hide under the covers. I didn't want to labour like this. I wanted to hide and wake up and have my natural birth. I wasn't freaking out but I was pretty sad.

They put me on a saline drip to start with to try and get the little ones heart rate to calm down. It was just on the edge of being too high. I kept needing to go to the bathroom. This was no mean feat. I had a drip in one hand and two heart monitors strapped to my belly. Myl would carry all the bits and pieces and I would waddle off into the bathroom. The midwives kept coming in and out so I liked being in the bathroom where they couldn't come and get me. I would linger in there holding on to Myl and chatting to him. They would ask if I was ok and I would waddle back out.

I had regained some of my calm. Sure it was so far from my ideal but if I needed to give birth strapped to a machine then I was going to do it with style. The contractions were coming stronger and stronger because the labour drip was starting to work. I was standing up to work through them. I was swaying through them and it felt good. I couldn't move far but I could move. I would hold Myls hand and breathe deeply.

Kelly came back in to check how I was doing. She looked at the monitor and asked me to hop back on the bed. She said that our little girl didn't like me standing up. She explained that whenever I had a contraction the little ones heart rate went down. This was confusing. It was too high before and I was drinking loads of water to bring it down and now it was too low? She called in the other midwife to have a look. They had worried looks on their faces. I didn't know what it all meant. Painful moment numero uno came when the second midwife put a monitor on our little girls head. Yes you can imagine. Ow! She needed to check that the monitor on my belly was showing the right thing. It turns out it was and in came a flood of doctors. They were looking at the monitor with concerned faces and started talking about a caesarian.

This was not what I expected but by this stage I was in another zone. I didn't really want a caesarian but I wanted my little baby so much. I would just have to do what needed to be done. The doctors were talking about prepping me for surgery and about anesthetic and epidurals. It's all a bit of a blur but I remember they said that Myles could come into the theatre if I was going to have an epidural. I was thinking "I don't want an epidural." but then the other option was a general anesthetic or being awake while they cut me open which is not really an option at all.

I don't remember saying it but at this moment I asked my mum if our little girl was going to die. She told me that she was going to be fine. I must have been worried but I don't really remember. Within a matter of moments I was being wheeled out of my room and into theatre. Myles was walking beside me in scrubs holding my hand and looking into my eyes. It felt so surreal. I had given up the control of my body and my birth. Our little girl would be coming soon.

To be continued...


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birth story (part one)

We had been waiting for our little girl a long time. My due date came and went and I was getting so eager to meet this little person who I knew was growing inside of me.

On Monday the 28th of March, my Mum and I went walking on King St Newtown. We were on a mission to get some buttons for a sweet little cardigan mum was making for the little one. There is a fantastic button shop right down the end of King St so we decided to walk down there looking at shops on the way. We thought this might be a nice way to bring on the little one. I guess we were right. I was feeling pretty pooped by the time we finished walking. We wound up at the Berkelouw book shop. I flopped down in a chair and made up my mind to stay there indefinitely.

Myles arrived and we had some ramen. The bookshop has a ramen bar. How cool is that. It felt a bit strange to be sipping noodles surrounded by books but the ramen was good. As we walked out of the shop all of a sudden I felt a strong cramp. The kind of cramp I needed to hang onto Myles to get through. It was about 6:30. I got excited. I hadn't felt anything like this before. It hurt so bad but so good at the same time. We got into the car and the cramp came back. Oh boy it hurt. On the way to Newtown that morning I had enjoyed going over the bumps, thinking they might bring our little one on but heading back every bump felt like torture. I writhed around in my seat and longed to be home already.

When we got home the contraction had ended. I got all pro active and finished packing my bag. I put in some baby clothes and a few last minute things. My excitement may have been a little premature as I had gone through a grand total of two contractions but I felt like doing something. After a little while of me prancing round the house doing labour exercises to encourage contractions and getting all maternal, we settled down to watch The Lord of The Rings - Return of the King. (as you do) I was desperately trying to not get my hopes up. I felt like something was  going to happen but had felt like that before.

The contractions weren't too strong but they were coming pretty regularly. About 5-7 minutes apart. I would have one and ask, "How long was that one?" getting more and more excited each time someone said, "five minutes." They were just not very strong. Frodo and Sam were so close to getting that ring into mount doom. I was watching but was so distracted. I was thinking of all my labour exercises and breathing techniques. I was wondering if ramen was a suitable food to keep my energy levels up. I kept getting up and needing to go to the bathroom. Just as old Shelob was sticking Frodo with her pincers I got up to go and my waters broke. All over the lounge room floor. (I'll leave it at that) Something was definitely happening.

I got in the shower and stood there till the water went lukewarm. (Darn small hot water heater) I was shivering with excitement. Myl and I exchanged some meaningful looks. We would be meeting our little one soon. The gears were all in motion. We called the birth centre full of anticipation. The midwife told me to try and go to sleep and call in the morning. My contractions were not strong enough. I was pretty gutted. I wanted to go in and get this baby out. I hung up the phone and went to go back to Frodo.

Now this was the point where I am eternally grateful to have a midwife for a mother. Mum pulled me aside and checked the colour of the waters. "I think there's some meconium in there." she said. I had not really noticed the colour at all. I would have happily gone to bed and waited for who knows what. I am so thankful my mum was there.

So we called the birth centre again and I told her what we had discovered. She told us to come in straight away to get checked out. We were back in action. I was excited and apprehensive. We got the bags together and went out to the car to go in.

to be continued...

introducing the little one...

At long last our sweet baby girl was born on Tuesday at 4:17am.
One week late.

Her name is Lucy Erin Elton.

She was 3.3 kilos and 51cm long.

We had an emergency c-section but all is well and we are both healthy and happy.
I'll be writing the whole birth story soon. I'm just enjoying my new little girl and having lots of lovely rest times.

earlier today...

good girl!

There is one special little lady in my belly.
After going to my last midwife appointment and being so worried about her facing forward and not backwards she has turned around and is in perfect position for birth.

At the moment she is all primed and ready to go. Mum has been doing regular checkups of her position and at the moment she is rrriiiiight down in my pelvis. 1/5.

It's all getting so close. Every night I go to bed thinking I could wake up in labour in the morning. Each morning I wake up thinking I could go into labour today.

Thankyou so much for your prayers if you have been praying. Our great God really does listen.

Still waiting but it could be soon!

Image Credit - Kid independent.

Operation: Let's Have a Baby

So, I've reached a whole thirty-nine weeks of having a baby on the inside.
I've set up the cot.
I've cleaned the house.
I've washed the clothes.
I've had the baby shower.

I think it's time we added a baby to this family.
I'm feeling really good and not at all over being pregnant but I'm so excited for this little girl and there is now nothing left to do but have her in my arms.

So Operation: Let's have a baby.
I know that these are only theories but I'm gonna do all I can to bring this little one out.
I've heard that hot curries, stair climbing, visualising opening flowers/cervixes are good.

Does anyone have any hot tips? What helped you to get your baby out?

Image Credit: David and Kelly Sopp - Safe Pregnancy Tips
Not their actual site but you can look at more funny pictures like the one above here.

the mamas mama

This is my mama. Isn't she beautiful? She is going to be a grandmama soon. I've got a sneaking suspicion she is a little excited. Correct me if I'm wrong.

My mama is pretty wonderful. I wrote about her here for her birthday.

My mama is a super midwife. She has been my pregnancy hotline for the past 9 or so months. She was the third person to know about our little one. (Me, Myl, Mum.)

My mama is going to be there when the little one comes into the world unless she is delivering other babies or the little one comes in less than 3 hours. (The time it takes my mama to drive to Sydney.)

I've done loads of things with my mama over the years but I think this one will be the best.

Class Number One.

- Warning - This post may contain too much information. Especially for soon to be mamas.

We had our first childbirth class last night.

And how do I feel?

I'm feeling a bit anxious really.

We walked into a room filled with bean bags and ladies with big bellies. This was the right room. They all looked a friendly bunch. We all introduced ourselves. It was a class of about 10. 8 for the labour ward and 2 for the birth centre. All our first little ones.

The class was all about the different stages of labour and what happens in each. The midwife talked about different positions the baby could be in (breech, posterior, anterior, transverse) and had a special doll that sat in a pelvis. I couldn't help but think that the doll was a heckofalot bigger than the space inside the pelvis.

When talking about the stages of labour, the midwife wrote up all the categories of things that happen and the stage in which they take place. For instance your waters could break at any time. Days or weeks before birth or even after birth. That freaked me out a bit.

She talked about mucous plugs and dialation and effacement and then there was this little category called pain.

It was all making me feel pretty squeamish but this topped it off. First it's supposed to feel like cramps and then it's supposed to just get worse till you are "beyond pain." (her words)

I'm a huge fan of the natural birth for many reasons. I loved reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. I have been thinking about breathing techniques, water births and rushes not contractions. I'm booked into the birth centre where there is not an epidural in sight.

So when people talk about being in a world of pain and then going beyond that. It makes me nervous.

I'm into the third trimester and starting to get bigger. It's trickier to walk around, bend over, get into the car. I'm feeling positively elderly. Then there is the discomfort of having a head right down in my pelvis and all the joy that brings. I'm experiencing a bit of hurt. So when people talk about pain I feel I can relate. And then I get really nervous.

What if I get there and find I can't do it. What if I wuss out. And my favourite worry, what if I explode there in the delivery room. (This is a very real concern in my mind. The midwife at the birth centre has assured me I will not explode. I'm not so sure.)

I guess it's all well and good. They are just trying to prepare me. I don't think I thought it would exactly be a walk in the park but it still makes me really really nervous.

I think the classes will be fine. I'm hoping they will give some good tips on how to deal with the anxiety I'm feeling and not just with gas or injections into my spine.

I think Myl quite enjoyed it. He has been reading his man with a pram book and so knew quite a bit about babies and the like. I think he will be really great when I'm in labour. As long as I have his hand to hold I think I will be ok. I just wish I wasn't so nervous.