songs that have spoken

I was in my final year of high school. I thought I was pretty awesome. Pretty cool. Pretty fun. Pretty great to be around.
It was a good feeling to feel invincible. We were the top of the school, the best at everything.
I couldn't wait to fly the nest. I had it all planned. One year to work and then off to the city to study and make something of myself. I was waiting for my moment to fly.

I was busy. There was music to play, equations to be learnt, King Lear to be read and memorised. I had friends to chat with, a busy social schedule, dreams to plan.
I wanted to see the world, finish my studies and open my eyes to the beauty and wonder that lay beyond school.

I remember one evening. I was playing music at a big fancy reunion dinner our school was throwing. 50 years, 75, I can't remember. It was just one of those things. Our school had a pipes and drums band and paraded us out at every opportunity. Who doesn't like the bagpipes?
The buzz of being on stage was electrifying. To stand and play with all eyes fixed on you is a feeling like no other. The music plays and when it stops you can bask in the applause. We played that night and drove back in the bus buzzing. Another job well done.

But I had forgotten my instrument. I left it behind at the function centre. In the car that had become "mine" I drove back to fetch it. A simple enough task. I walked in, retrieved my case and left. But as I left my world was changed. No huge moment, no physical scars but a memory that shattered my world.

There was a man there. Standing between the light of the centre and the safety of my car. He was drunk and made suggestions. I froze. This did not fit in with my awesome, cool, fun, great world. The confident girl, ready to fly was scared. She couldn't move. One step out of the light and the safety would end. I slipped back and frantically looked for someone I knew. All around me were smoking, drinking alumni and in front of me some man from the streets leering and gesturing.

A face in the crowd I recognised. Our school chaplain. I looked up at him in what must have been a hopeless withering stare. He came over and asked if I was ok.
This was an adult. The very type I had been longing to be independent of. The very people I thought I could do without. "Look at me flap my wings," I would say "I'm big enough to not need you anymore."

He led me through the clouds of smoke and past the scary man to the safety of my car and watched as I drove away. On that trip home I cried not because anything had really happened but because of the weakness I felt. It was the first time my independence had been tested. The first time it had failed.

I listened to one of my favourite songs "Blackbird" in a new light after that day. No longer did I see it as an anthem for freedom and independence but as a reminder that the little bird who flaps her wings and opens her eyes is still a fragile little bird.
"All your life, you are only waiting for this moment to be free."
I saw myself as this little bird, waiting to burst forth and be free but realising that the world can sometimes be a dark black night.

That night shocked my confidence and made me realise that I'm sure not indestructible. I thank God it was a lesson learned without harm. Things could have turned out so differently. I'm glad I found a friendly face in the crowd.

I listen to this song and I remember that night. I remember the little girl who began to grow up.

things i love - songs of worship

I'm a Christian.
My favourite songs to sing are to God. There are so many beautiful and wonderful ones.
Some of my favourites are on this album I stumbled upon.

It's by Chelsea Moon and is called "Hymn Project: Volume One"
You can listen to the whole shebang on myspace music. Click here

Not only are the songs beautiful but the music is so lovely. Acoustic guitars, strings - Heaven.

linky love

read this

 wear this

eat this

listen to this

look at this blog

three weeks old

Our little girl is much more alert this week.

She loves face time. She smiles sometimes when we smile at her. She likes dancing with her dada.
She loves her dada. She is captivated by him. She just stares into his eyes. If she were a little older and not our precious daughter I'm sure I would be jealous.
She likes rough terrain and driving in the car. She cries when we stop at traffic lights.
She likes to move. She likes her bouncer and likes to bounce hard. 
She likes it when we sing to her. "Come thou Fount", "Jesus Paid it All", "Amazing Grace", "If I had Words." Works every time.
She likes feeding time. She gets all excited and starts to hyperventilate. Sometimes she gets confused and sucks her hand instead. She gets all confused when no milk comes out.
She likes being on her tummy when she is sad.

She gets sad a little more often these days but is usually soothed by a cuddle or a feed or a good bounce. Usually a feed. She is a hungry little goose.

She is still sleeping really well. We get a good long six hour stretch at night.

She has been out for coffee, to night church, to tenpin bowling, shopping at birkenhead point and to a cafe for lunch. After all these excursions she (and I) needed a nice nap.
We have had a lot of visitors this past week. Myls Mum and brother came to stay and lovely friends have come for meals, chats and cuddles.

She is such a blessing. I love her.

sing to your baby

I like singing.

I have been singing to the little one since she could hear and even before that.

Call me a control freak but I would like to have some influence over the style of music my little one likes.

My dad played folk music to me in the womb and sung the old hymn "Jerusalem." I find I now have a deep love for beautiful Irish music.. not so sure about Jerusalem but it was worth a try?

Here are the little ones top five songs.

1. I've Got You Under My Skin - Jazz standard

I like it cos I've got her under my skin.


2. Tea and the Toast - Clare Bowditch


3. Jesus Paid It All - Passion


4. Down to the River to Pray - Old Timey Hymn

5. The very thought of you - Jazz standard

I sing her a lot of folk and jazz. I've heard that babies like soft pretty music and hide from things like heavy metal. I think this makes complete sense. I hide from heavy metal too.

She especially likes it when I play my guitar. (I say likes because she kicks around. This could really be her hating it and trying to beat me so I stop but let's say it means she likes it.) I have been playing at church through the whole pregnancy and have now developed a side guitar hold that accommodates my bump.

I hope she will be a lover of music. I fully intend to have compulsory family Sound of Music singing sessions on long car trips. I'd love her to learn a musical instrument and I hope that the washing up is always combined with the sound of whipping towels and beautiful harmonies.

little music

So I was googling my blog today (as you do) and I stumbled upon this song called "Little One"

The first words are "little one i know you grow..."

Amazing! I thought. And I really like the song.
You might like it too.

It's by a girl called Sophie Madeline and its really sweet.

You can listen to it here. You can also listen to her whole album which is also really nice.

Sufjan's Christmas

I just love Sufjan Stevens.

His Christmas album has been on repeat every christmas (and often in between) since I got it.

This Christmas he has put out a new Christmas album.

You can't buy it yet but you can listen to the whole thing right here on my blog!

Hooray. There are some great tracks on there. I especially like the Carol of Benjamin the Bearded.







Sufjan Stevens - Gloria! Songs for Christmas, Vol. 6 by rawkblog

this little one is loved.

We had some friends over today for lunch.
It was really nice.

We lazed in the sun and ate fajitas and mexican rice and chatted and laughed and played big taboo.

They are friends I haven't seen in a while and it was good to catch up and love and share.

We shared our special news with them and it was so great to see it brighten up their eyes and make them smile.

At the end of the day one of the girls asked if she could pray for our
little family. So we stood round in a circle and they prayed for us.

I felt so so humbled.
How great is our God?
How great that he gives us these friends to love us and support us and share life with us.

They prayed thanks for us having them over and prayed for our marriage and our little one that it would grow. They prayed that the little one would grow up to love God and that we would love others together as a family.

It made me so happy to think of the little one being part of not only our lives but a whole community of lives and part of Gods plan.

We are not at all alone in this.

It blows me away.

And just then I was reading the blog She Breathes Deeply and was reminded of a beautiful song she has by a different band but I have by David Crowder Band. It's called "How he Loves."

Its just the song for the moment.

You can hear the song here

Friday Date - Basement Birds

It was the little ones first ever concert. It was amazing.

Myl had bought us the tickets as an 18 month wedding anniversary present quite a while ago and since then we have had the basement birds cd on repeat. They were really good.

I quite enjoyed having four acoustic guitars onstage at the same time playing almost the same thing but totally getting away with it.

We arrived in the city with plenty of time and were at the very start of the line. Then we waited, and waited. A big burly bouncer came to the front of the door and told us it was almost time to come in and that we should all line up... on the OTHER side of the door. All of a sudden hordes of people started making a line and we kept getting pushed back further and further.

We were still in the first 1/3 of people in the line. But no longer first. That hurt.

Nevertheless we got pretty good "seats." It was standing room only but there were some steps you could sit on. I was getting a little worried as I've heard that pregnant ladies are likely to faint if standing for long periods of time. I had my Myl to lean on though.

The basement birds played every song they knew. At the end of the encore they said not to ask them to play more as they didn't know anything else.

Old Man River was the support act although I think he is slightly more famous than the birds. He was great as well.

Myles and I had a great time singing and dancing along.

A great date.

My day.

I have had a really lovely day. The sun was shining and all was well.

I started my morning with Job Number 2 (or is it 1?) looking after kids from my church while their mums have their mothers group.
I recently read an article that was about old fashioned play and how children nowadays have so many toys that it limits their imaginations. Gone are the days when children will be satisfied to play Cowboys and Indians with sticks and things, now they have specially crafted toys to fit with any possible game they play. Even though most children are not allowed to watch the star wars movies, they know all about Luke and Darth Vader and may have light saber toys and Star Wars Lego to play with.

So today I decided to encourage the kids to play not with the toys but with their imaginations. It was fantastic. We had knights being chased by dragons and saving damsels in distress, pirates finding buried treasure, astronauts going to the moon and meeting a funny alien and everything in between. The little kids were so imaginative. They roared with laughter, ran around and didn't get bored one bit.

The best bit however was when we went outside to play with some soccer balls. The game of soccer lasted about five minutes until my brother (who does it with me) got the ball and shoved it up his shirt. He then began to chase the kids around with his crazy "baby" belly. They loved it and also wanted a go. Next minute one four year old had the ball up his top.

"My baby is going to kill everyone." He said.

It was hilarious.

Then after that I got to help my sister-to-be buy her wedding dress. That was absolutely lovely and a pleasure to do. I am so excited about them getting married. They came over for a lovely lunch and have now gone home.

I bought the little one a first present. It is a little orange (non gender specific?) blanket. I think it is lovely. It has bobbles on it. I felt like buying something. I'm just that kinda gal.

Now, onto the picture at the top. This is the album of the basement birds. Myles bought me tickets to go and see their concert. This is very exciting. The Basement birds are a band made up of lots of different male singers from other bands/solo acts who sing in four part harmony. Its really nice. I have such a wonderful husband. This is our 18 month anniversary (which is tomorrow) present.

Lovely day.

I'm about to cook Chicken and Leek stroganoff, watch valentines day and listen to the basement birds cd. (Although not at the same time.)

Heaven.