earlier today...

over cooked

I think I need to resign myself to the fact that this little one is going to come in her own sweet time.

I have tried everything short of performing my own personal c-section.

Last night I got a bit sad and thought that maybe she just doesn't want to come out. Maybe she doesn't want me to be her mama. I can't help but feel like a bit of a failure for not being "able" to have this baby. But it isn't really up to me I guess. I've done all I can.

All I've been rewarded with are some lame lazy contractions that never go anywhere.

It must be just so nice and cozy in there. I tell ya, I'd rather a soft muslin blanket and a cuddle from my mama to a squishy bath where it's all dark and noisy any day. But that's just me.

I'm off to go make pancakes, take another brisk walk and hope that I won't be at church tonight. ;)

good girl!

There is one special little lady in my belly.
After going to my last midwife appointment and being so worried about her facing forward and not backwards she has turned around and is in perfect position for birth.

At the moment she is all primed and ready to go. Mum has been doing regular checkups of her position and at the moment she is rrriiiiight down in my pelvis. 1/5.

It's all getting so close. Every night I go to bed thinking I could wake up in labour in the morning. Each morning I wake up thinking I could go into labour today.

Thankyou so much for your prayers if you have been praying. Our great God really does listen.

Still waiting but it could be soon!

Image Credit - Kid independent.

still here

I'm the kind of blog reader who obsesses about other peoples babies. When someone is almost due I check my blogger dashboard several times a day telling Myl I just have to "check if anyone has had their baby."

So if any of you are like this too I'm posting this to say that I'm still here and our little one is not yet.

Not for a want of trying though.

I have been eating jalapeno peppers, curry, spicy soup, spicy pull apart from bakers delight, thai.
I have been running up and down staircases. (Yes I ran up them twice!)
Going for brisk walks.
Drinking bucket loads of raspberry leaf tea.
Doing exercises on my hands and knees.
Thinking laborious thoughts.

and while we are being honest..
taking laxatives.. they worked for my mum.
and other fun ;) things.

But I think that this little girl is just going to come in her own sweet time.
There doesn't seem to be a thing I can do.

My mum came up a few days ago when I was feeling pretty down and thinking I would never ever give birth. We have been sewing and shopping and chatting together. It has been really nice.

Soon life is gonna get a heap more hectic. But I'm so looking forward to it!

forty

How far along? 40 weeks. I'm due today so where is this baby?
Baby’s Size God only knows.
Where she is: head down still only 3/5 engaged (I thought she had gone further :( ) and now facing posterior (head up) this is not such a good thing but hopefully she will spin right back around. Scrubbing the floors for me.
Feeling: Excited for her to come but getting so anxious now. I just want to know when she will be here.

Belly Button: Flat and really really dark.
Gender: girl
Movement: lots of moving and squirming.
Sleep: Fantastic. I keep thinking I am going to wake up in the middle of the night with contractions but I wake up each morning still pregnant and feeling well rested.
Symptoms: swollen feet and ankles. These are not my feet anymore. Not so much else though.

Labour Signs: Just practice braxton hicks.
Best Moments this week: finally making it to the "end."

Food Aversions: no
Food Cravings: chicken nuggets again.
What I miss: being able to plan my week.

What I am Looking forward to: contractions! bring it on.
Milestones: Fully pregnant. 40 weeks. I'm done...I hope.

the waiting game

nope, no baby yet...

Still no obvious labour signs yet either.
I'm getting pretty keen for this little one to come.

While I have been waiting this is what I've been up to.
Yipee found the camera!

 Found this tutorial and decided to juj up a onesie.

 I know it's going into winter but these could be fun for a sunny day.

 It's a bandanna bib for my little cowgirl.

 I made monte carlos. They look similar to these but they are oh so different. I've been having very strange desires to bake.

I've been doing lots of itty bitty laundry. It's pretty cute.


We have been going on so many dinner dates because 1. This might be our last chance!! and 2. Impending baby has meant I haven't gone for a proper grocery shop in some time. eeek!

Come on baby girl! We are so ready to meet you.


If you vote she might come quicker?

on the ledge...

It's a quick trip from playing "little piggies" with a toddlers toes to packing her up for college.

These were the fist words in a book on parenting I have just started reading. The moment I read them I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and the longing in my heart.

I am standing on the very thin ledge between pregnancy and motherhood. My sweet baby girl is only days away from coming out.

I can remember when she was just an idea. When we wanted to start trying for a baby I would imagine what it would be like to be pregnant, to be a mama. I remember finding out about her. Of course she wasn't a her at the time. Just a little line on a stick. A tiny little being with all the possibilities in the world. We watched her grow as my belly swelled up. We saw her ultrasounds. I waited longingly for her first movements and cried out with joy when I firs felt her kick. We found out she was a she and watched her wriggle round in her watery home. I have felt her growing. I have watched her turn my belly into a gymnastics apparatus. She has gone from a tiny little fertilised egg to our beautiful baby girl ready to be born.

It has been a long journey but at the same time it has gone so quickly. Over the last eight or so months I have known of her existence I have fallen in love with her so deeply. She has been in my thoughts most of the time. She has been in my dreams and in my imagination.

As I sit on this ledge my imagination stretches out into the future. I am looking forward to playing little piggies with her toes but will I then blink and be packing her up to move away from home. WIll I be standing there watching her walk down the aisle to her husband thinking "Where did my little girl go?"

I'm going to get to know this little girl so well. I'm going to be her mama.

Lately God has been teaching me so much about what it means to be wise. I want so much to be wise in the way that I look after my little girl. I want to say the right things and do the right things and teach her to be wise too. God has also been teaching me about his endless grace. That wisdom comes from Him and He freely gives it to us. What a precious gift!

I want to be a mama filled with grace for my little girl too. I want to show her Gods love.

As I stand on this ledge I pray that I will remember to show her His love. I pray that I will be loving and kind and a good listener but I also pray that in the times that I am not that I will say I'm sorry, I will talk to her, I will show her grace.

My little girl is going to be out before I know it. She will grow up before my eyes and one day I will see her standing beside me as a woman. I want to feel the same way about her then as I do now. Unconditional love and endless opportunities.


It's so hard to believe that this little one will be here so soon. I want her so much. I am so humbled that God gave me to her to be her mama and Myles to be her dada. My heart longs to hold her tight, to kiss her sweet forehead and whisper that I love her.

She will be here soon. She will be small and helpless but she won't stay that way. My daughter will be born. God willing she will grow big and strong. Her heart will be for the Lord and she will be so full of life.

And I will know her so well.

Dear little one...

your due date is only five days away.
Your dada and I have been waiting such
a long time for you to arrive and now
it is so soon we can smell it!
The suspense is killing me.
Anytime you want to come now is
a-ok with us. I cant wait to see your
little nose and count your toes and
fingers. To hold you in my arms and
smell your sweet baby skin.
I am living at this state of heightened
excitement. Everytime my body gives a
little twinge I think "Is she coming?"

Come soon little one. It's been the best
time of my life carrying you around inside
of me. I will never forget how nice it feels
but I am so ready to give you a big cuddle

love mama

thirty-nine

I can't find our camera. It has gone missing so here is my artists interpretation of what I look like this week. No joke I have what appears to be a basketball in my belly.

How far along? 39 weeks. One week to go!!
Baby’s Size About as big as she is going to get
Where she is: 3/5 engaged with her head firmly stuck in my pelvis. Facing towards the left.
Feeling: So so excited. This little girl could come at any time and I am looking forward to her so much.

Belly Button: Flat.
Gender: girl
Movement: She goes nuts in the evenings. She loves it when we put our hands on my belly. She wriggles about and pokes her little body parts out.
Sleep: Great! Getting a bit of heartburn but pretty much sleeping all through the night.
Symptoms: Feeling humungous, sore pelvis, heartburn and swelly feet. But feeling great!

Labour Signs: Braxton Hicks making that bubba head get engaged. Nothing else to report though.
Best Moments this week: Baby shower. It was so lovely.

Food Aversions: no
Food Cravings: ice cream.
What I miss: picking things up from the floor.

What I am Looking forward to: Sweet baby girl in my arms!
Milestones: One week till I'm due!

How's about a little click click?

mama bird

I have been having a lovely little nest the past few days. Just like a mama bird preparing to lay her little baby eggs.

It sounds very serene but really it isn't.
I have been racing round the house tearing my hair out that there are so many things everywhere that don't have a home.

We have all these clothes to give to vinnies that are sitting in the hallway, a box of childrens ministry supplies with no home, a useless tv taking up cupboard space (anyone want?) and a whole lotta baby things everywhere.

I cleaned the car today. I was feeling all sprightly and energetic. For those of you I have given a lift in my car you will know this is a big job. Our car is a bit like our second house at times. My guitar lives in there as do a lot of things I have affectionately named "the detritus." All that lovely stuff came into our house and out of the car and had to have a home. I did a little angry flustered dance when this happened.

I got rid of all the rubbish from under the seats, vacumed the floor and shook out the car mats. It was so strange getting in the car and not having to watch where I put my feet. Magic.

It seems these bursts of energy are very quickly followed by exhaustion. As soon as I had finished with the car I came inside and collapsed on the lounge. I sat there for a good long while.

That is until I saw a speck of dust and an out of place bootie and off I was again to pluck some more twigs for my little nesty.

I don't think Myles is enjoying this time of my pregnancy. Often the things I am nesting with are heavy and he is the one who has to move them. Of course once I notice they are out of place they need to be moved RIGHT AWAY! Life really does depend on it and so whatever he is doing needs to be stopped so he can help me.

I can't explain it. It's just a sense of deep inner frustration at the state of the house. There is still so much to do. I can feel myself itching to go do laundry in the middle of the night. (I actually put two loads on last night.. while it was raining.)

Let's just hope this means the little one is coming really soon! But not before I have dusted every nook and cranny of this house.

Image Credit - Nesting Bird Screensaver

i could eat a horse...

this picture actually makes me want to hurl... it's not horse

...in small ammounts over the course of a whole day. But a horse it would be.

I'm so HUNGRY. All the time.
When I eat something I get really full and can't eat much but then about 30 mins later I am hungry again.

The worst part is that it is 10:50pm and I am absolutely starving but it is time for bed and not eating. I need to wait for breakfast.


Man I could really go some chicken nuggets right now.

Image Credit : This is why you're Fat

Operation: Let's Have a Baby

So, I've reached a whole thirty-nine weeks of having a baby on the inside.
I've set up the cot.
I've cleaned the house.
I've washed the clothes.
I've had the baby shower.

I think it's time we added a baby to this family.
I'm feeling really good and not at all over being pregnant but I'm so excited for this little girl and there is now nothing left to do but have her in my arms.

So Operation: Let's have a baby.
I know that these are only theories but I'm gonna do all I can to bring this little one out.
I've heard that hot curries, stair climbing, visualising opening flowers/cervixes are good.

Does anyone have any hot tips? What helped you to get your baby out?

Image Credit: David and Kelly Sopp - Safe Pregnancy Tips
Not their actual site but you can look at more funny pictures like the one above here.

baking

Myl and I love doing our groceries together. Closer to the truth is that I love doing the groceries and Myl loves carrying the bags.

Sometimes when we go shopping there are really good specials. I'm a bit of a sucker for specials. 2 for 1's, Reduced to sells. I can be convinced to buy something I wasn't going to get by the fact that it is on sale.

Myl likes it when biscuits are on sale. His favourite are monte carlo anzac biscuits. They usually have some 3 for $5 deal. He likes that.

But most times, instead of letting him indulge in his biscuity goodness I tell him, "You don't need store bought biscuits. I'll make you some."

And so we continue to shop sans biscuits and maybe with a token extra slab of butter for the biscuits I'm going to make.

Unfortunately, I don't always keep my promise. Sometimes poor Myl goes without.
BUT
Not this time. I made him some tasties. I sent him a text when he was at college and he came home to a container filled with these bad boys.

They are ginger and lime cream filled biscuits from my biscuit and macaroon Womens Weekly cookbook. They were so much fun to make.

They look like little biscuit hamburgers and most importantly Myl likes them.

thirty-eight

How far along? 38 weeks. 2 weeks till my due date.
Baby’s Size
Where she is: Head down and still only 4/5 engaged. She has been at this stage since 33 weeks. She needs to get to 0/5.
Feeling: More energetic but in spurts. I have to sit down a lot. I'm getting really excited and feeling less nervous about labour. I'm saying it's going to be fun. 
Update: Since writing this I went to my midwife appointment and there had really high blood pressure 140/90. The midwife got me to wait and have it checked again. I needed to move the car from the 20min spot I had it in so for the next hour or so I ran/drove around getting change for the all day parking zone, realising the zone was full, trying to find a spot on the busy street, going back to the parking zone, getting crazy flustered and bursting into tears in the car, trying to breathe and calm down because "HECK I'm pregnant and have high blood pressure." Driving back to the 20 min zone, illegally parking and going back to the birth centre. And you will never guess but my blood pressure was 130/80 Not heaps low but not a worry. I was doing a lot of praying as I drove around. It pretty much worked. ;)

Belly Button: flat and dark. I wonder what it will look like when my belly goes back.
Gender: girl
Movement: She's moving but not very far. I keep feeling little feet and hands and bottoms poking out everywhere.
Sleep: Pretty good. I've only been waking once and having nice sleep ins. Sometimes it's tricky to get to sleep cos I sit staring at our little girls empty cot getting excited.
Symptoms: heartburn and very swollen feet and hands. We have had a few cooler days which stops the itching and swelling but I can go for a five minute walk and have feet that burst out of my Birkenstocks.

Labour Signs: Felt like I was going to vomit yesterday. I hate vomiting so I stopped myself but apparently this is a baby coming soon sign. (I think it might be a baby coming either today or the next few weeks sign so not really all that telltale.) Some of the little ones movements I have realised may have actually been Braxton Hicks contractions. My belly gets all tight at the top for a bit. I thought it was just her poking around. Who knows?
Best Moments this week: The thought that has been in my mind the whole time that she really can come at any moment!

Food Aversions: no but I have been coughing a lot when I eat. As if the food is going down the wrong hole.
Food Cravings: Haven't really had a huge appetite. I'm eating loads of fruit.
What I miss: My mama. I get to see her this weekend!

What I am Looking forward to: Baby shower on the weekend. If you are reading this and would like to come let me know and I'll tell you the deets.
Milestones: Full term. There are no more milestones other than baby in arms stone.

number 93! Thanks for the votes. Keep clicking. 

the mamas mama

This is my mama. Isn't she beautiful? She is going to be a grandmama soon. I've got a sneaking suspicion she is a little excited. Correct me if I'm wrong.

My mama is pretty wonderful. I wrote about her here for her birthday.

My mama is a super midwife. She has been my pregnancy hotline for the past 9 or so months. She was the third person to know about our little one. (Me, Myl, Mum.)

My mama is going to be there when the little one comes into the world unless she is delivering other babies or the little one comes in less than 3 hours. (The time it takes my mama to drive to Sydney.)

I've done loads of things with my mama over the years but I think this one will be the best.

after the babe

I got just a little bit excited about jeans the other day.
I was hanging out at the shopping centre where Myl works waiting for him to finish and I was looking it this really great clothes outlet. It's a factory outlet shop of a whole heap of nice brands. They had a table of Levi jeans that were priced from 20 dollars.

I was getting a little excited about having a waist that fits into jeans again. Just before my belly started to explode I had ripped a big hole in my jeans but didn't worry because I wouldn't be wearing them for the next few months. I invested in some not incredibly fashionable but very comfortable maternity jeans from target and wore those while the weather was still chilly. But now. It's going to be winter soon. I'm going to have a waistline soon. I'ma gonna get myself some jeans.


This got me thinking about all the other things I get to do once I have a little one on the outside and not on the inside.

I can eat sashimi again! This is pretty exciting. I have already placed my order for a large serving of sushi from the Japanese restaurant near the hospital.

I can eat ham! Not that I'm the biggest ham fan but ruling out the deli meat food group can make group or camp lunches very boring.

I can sleep on my tummy. Oh sweet tummy sleeping.

I can run and jump and dance and bend over and go on long walks. In short I will be movable. I will have a little friend to be movable with as well. If she is on the floor I can sit on the floor with her. We can go for walks. My feet and hands will go back to being a normal size and will stay that way on said walks and I won't feel like a beached whale whilst getting out of the bath.

I can hug Myles front on. Right now there is a belly in the way so I have to tilt to the side.

I only have to go to the doctor if I'm sick. We'll be going for the little one's checkups but not for me! No stinky blood tests, swabs, being poked and prodded by the doctor.



Don't get me wrong, I have love love LOVED having my little girl growing and moving inside of me but this time shall pass and I might as well get excited about it.

lazy risotto

I had never eaten risotto till a few years ago and I love it!
I'm a bit of a rice fan.


The first risotto I cooked was a chicken and mushroom one. I slaved over a hot stove pouring in a bit of stock and then stirring pouring and stirring, pouring and stirring till I had all the stock soaked into the risotto. It made quite a tasty dish but I must confess I am a bit of a low maintenance cook. I have been known to cook dinner while doing many other things and this means I am often burning, neglecting or overcooking my meals.

So here are two risotto recipes where you just put all your ingredients in the pot, pop it in the oven, cook and serve. Love it!

Chicken and Pumpkin Risotto
This recipe was given to me by a friend called Liv. I don't have any photos but I have made it twice.

1 cup arborio rice
2.5 cups chicken stock
30g butter (optional)
350g Kent pumpkin chopped coarsely
500g chicken breast or thigh cubed
1 tbsp parsley

Add all the above in an oven proof dish raw and cook on 190 C with no lid for about 30-40 minutes or until rice is cooked.

Stir through 1/2 cup parmesan cheese and serve.

Leftover Tomato Soup Risotto

This is one I made with some leftover homemade tomato soup I had in the freezer. It was taking up a lot of precious freezer space and I really didn't want to throw it out. You could use tinned tomatoes and/or vegetable stock.

1 cup aborio rice
2.5 cups thawed out frozen soup. 
handful of mushrooms chopped
1/2 chopped onion
1/2 cup frozen peas
vegetable stock cube
salt and pepper

You could also add other vegetables, bacon or whatever you like.

put all ingredients into an ovenproof dish and cook for 30-40 mins till the rice is cooked and the liquid has been soaked up.

Add some parmesan cheese and serve with garlic bread. 

thirty seven

How far along? 37 weeks + 3 days (this is what happens when photographer/husbands are not on holidays). full term!
Baby’s Size average of 3.1kg and 48.5cm
Where she is: head down but not engaged. I could have sworn she was as it's feeling really heavy down there. I know it's still early days but it makes me feel like she is a long way off.

Feeling: Tired all the time physically and emotionally. I'm feeling all anxious about when she is going to come. I'm happy having her inside but I'm so excited about her coming at the same time. 

Belly Button: flat. I don't think it's going to become a proper outie.
Gender: girl
Movement: crazy palates where my belly rises up in the sky. I was singing to her the other day and got the biggest kick. It hurt. I don't think she liked that song.
Sleep: Waking up every few hours to go to the bathroom or turn over. Good practice for the future.
Symptoms: pelvis pain, swollen feet, heartburn. I mostly feel pretty good but these things are dragging me down a bit. I'm getting pretty huge as well and I have a cold. :(
Best Moments this week: seeing a washing line full of teeny tiny baby clothes.

Food Aversions: not really
Food Cravings: not really either.
What I miss: Being spontaneous with my movements. I can't leap up from anything, roll over quickly,  jump or bend over so well.

What I am Looking forward to: holding my sweet baby girl in my arms.
Milestones: Full term baby! This kiddo can come on anytime.


I'm slipping down the ranks. I'm number 100. Please vote so that I can stay in the top 100. :)

chats with the babe

There are 18 days until this little kiddo in my belly is due to be born.

We were having a little chat the other day. (Yes we chat sometimes) I don't think she is going to make any kind of early appearance. I think she will take after her mothers side of the family and be late. She might come on her due date but definitely not early.

I think I'm ok with this. For all I know I could be wrong and she might be coming tonight but I think I am happy for her now and I'm happy to wait. It has been such a lovely experience feeling her grow inside of me. If it weren't for the fact that I get to cuddle and play with her when she comes out I daresay I would be quite sad to have her go.

But it feels like she is quite happy just floating around in there. I haven't had any Braxton Hicks contractions, she's not engaged yet, there have been no other labour signs. I've actually been feeling less huge and pregnant for the last few days (despite having a cold). She is just kicking around and having a grand ole time inside.

What a sweet little dear.

Image Credit - Google images

Fresh Milk

 Warning- this post may contain too much information. It is about breasts so if this topic makes you squeamish I suggest you look to another post.

For everything you wanted or perhaps didn't want to know about breastfeeding and breasts in general, look no further than Fresh Milk: The Secret Life of Breasts by Fiona Giles.

Like most of the books I have read this pregnancy, I was given this one by my mum. I think in actual fact I may have bought it for her for a birthday one year. I can vaguely recall going to our family favourite bookstall and asking for the book my mum had ordered so I could buy it for her. I remember being a little startled (though not surprised) to see two large breasts on the front cover. Such is the life of a daughter of a midwife.

It was this same image that made reading this book on the train a little difficult however this is one of the themes the book discusses. Is or should popping your boobs out in public be a questionable offence? Especially when said boobs are used to feed a small child?

Fresh Milk is a series of short anecdotes that tell of womens struggle with breastfeeding, joy in discovering the usefulness of their bodies and their new identities as mothers. Breastfeeding is not all glowing faces and beautiful times. Some of the women seemed to go through terrible pain and anxiety in their quest to feed their little ones. Cold cabbage leaves, cracked nipples, milk that wont come. But through all this many of the women persisted and all in all said they wouldn't have given it up for the joy that they experienced through feeding their child.

This book leaps head first into the more socially awkward avenues of breastfeeding. Children breastfeeding at older ages, (one boy still going at eleven) the sexuality of lactation, adoptive mothers and their ability to breastfeed and even has a few recipes for breast milk in the back. It does so unashamedly and though I giggled like a schoolgirl or was shocked into silence by some of the stories I found it a really interesting read. It opened my mind to a whole side of breasts I had never thought about before and while I don't think I'll be trying the breast milk pumpkin pie anytime soon it gave me a greater appreciation of my body that has been created to sustain my little baby's life for at least the first six months of her life.

we heart puffs

These are emperor puffs

This is us enjoying emperor puffs.

They are delicious balls of joy and custard from china town which is where we went on the weekend. Well.. we went to the food and wine fair in Hyde park first. We thought it would be one of those fun markets with free tastings and lovely things like that. But it wasn't. It was lots of expensive wine tastings and expensive fancy restaurant food. We are not very fancy people but rather than have our day ruined we decided to visit chinatown for some emperor puffs.

This was a good idea.

Then we decided to catch the bus home. We got to the stop and the free shuttle bus pulled up. Great, we thought. We can catch the shuttle to central and then there are more busses home. But the shuttle didn't really go to central. It went to the opposite side to the one we wanted. So we decided to take a nice bus ride around the city to see the sights, hold hands and have a nice time till we got to the stop we got on at.

But this shuttle doesn't work like that. Oh no it doesn't. We got to circular quay and the bus driver told everyone to get off. So we got off. We were very far from where we started.
Eventually we caught a bus from circular quay all the way back up george st and home. It took us about 45 mins to get to our original stop. So much for a short cut.

I got to have a nice time riding a bus with my favourite man though. Even if it made him a little late to go to the footy with his pals. AND I got a lot of preggo walking in. Not that I really want to hurry the little one on but I guess it all helps.